Japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney

japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney

Japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney

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: Japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney

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Japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney I do recall at the time of the leaflet drop that I did miss the intomacy from being sexually involved with another human. His clientele were sometimes lonely, sometimes just in town for a night The "date" in this instance is a little less cut and dried than if you'd booked a male escort in a western country: My friend and I could see the point in it after meeting. Pepsi Cola July 28, Here's what the typical American worker earns at every age. Emily July 29,
Japan escort no strings attached relationship Sydney It's telling that in American GigoloSchraderwhose other screenplays include the realist masterpieces Taxi Driver and Raging Bullbought into the macho fantasy that there's a community of beautiful, rich women out there who'll gladly pay men to have sex with. No matter date hookups dogging spots Queensland you are in the world, if you are a law enforcement officer and you suspect trafficking or child abuse is going on at Adultsearch, please notify us, and we will expeditiously review and remove any listings and divulge all the information that we have referring or relating to the poster, to you. July 29, Monogamy purely from a sex perspective has a lot to answer for! It's a lot safer - emotionally and physically.
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I have never attached my self-worth to some idea of virginity or monogamy, but I still had not really explored many of my desires. I was meeting people living alternative lifestyles, and, as I got to know them, the stereotypes that I had built up started to come apart. During this time I was in my mid-twenties, and I had an active sex life.

Within seconds I had many responses, and after about a week of talking to a few people, I decided to meet a dentist at a hotel. Eventually, I chose to work as an escort exclusively. At that time, the reason I gave up my programming job was the free time. I was caring for a family member with a serious illness — the free time and money was a huge benefit. However, I have always been concerned about how the social and legal issues may affect my future and the people that I love.

What kind of clients do you have? They tend to be doctors, lawyers, and businessmen looking to get away for a few hours in the middle of the day. Almost all of my clients are married. I rarely got the opportunity to find out if the wives were ok with it, but I did see several couples, so I assume they were ok with it. I insist that they give me their full names and their place of work so that I can contact them there before we meet. I also check their identification when we meet.

I also use verification companies, which assist escorts in verification of clients. For a fee, I can call in and they will tell me if the client has a history of giving the girls problems, where he works, and his full name.

If I was touring then there were extra expenses such as travel costs, hotels, and more advertising costs. That said, my choice to become an escort had a definite cost associated with it beyond the advertising, photos, and websites.

I believe it is close to impossible to have a healthy relationship while working. So it can be a lonely life. In addition, hiding my job from my friends and family proved to be difficult for many reasons. How do you think prostitution would change if it were legalised?

Would you want your own child to become a prostitute? If the social and legal ramifications were gone, I think that being an escort might be like being a therapist I have never been a therapist, so my knowledge is obviously limited. Like most escorts, a therapist sells his or her skills by the hour.

A therapist also has to meet people for the first time not knowing who is walking in the door. Many have their own offices and work alone. In addition, the session is generally private and requires discretion. If I had a child, I would hope that they would feel empowered, and have the opportunity to do whatever they desire to do, and that they would be in charge of their own sexuality. This job has its downsides, though, and can take a high toll on a person.

So, like any parent, I would always want more for my child than I had for myself. I feel that prostitution should be legal. I realise that there are women in prostitution who are there because they feel like they have to be.

However, the guy should offer something more than I can get from a one night stand or vibrator - I'm thinking a seriously good lover, maybe well versed in tantric. Someone who is in no rush, and over a couple of hours, can take me to heights several times. It takes a long time to teach a boyfriend how to do this - so there are many times in my life when I would have paid for that kind of sex.

I thought I would have a go and try and organise a nice little get together for AMAL's 2nd birthday, even though I really had decided not to organise any more of them, due to all the crap I get about it At the end of the day, choice is yours as to whether you attend or not and whether you have a good time or not They are not about buying sex which can be done more directly but more about having the ideal companion s for a night out.

The customers are paying for the attention of someone who is attractive and charming who focuses on them instead of openly keeping one eye out for a better prospect and will not demand anything more of them then continuing to spend money while they are in the club or on a date. Someone who is willing to listen to their stories and laugh at bad jokes while being very entertaining in their own right. Think of going to to a top restaurant, hotel or bar. Part of the attraction is the good service you receive that makes you feel a valued guest, that they remember your preferences and do all they can to make your experience a positive one.

The hosts receive part of any money that is spent by one of their clients in the club so they have an incentive to have the guests find the club an attractive place and to prefer them as a host. So for many men and women this is part of a good night out - where they have drinks with attractive charming people who won't put demands on them or disrupt current relationships.

Sex is not part of the transaction and is not expected. A host or hostess may arrange for this with some clients on a date but they don't have to. Compare this to your description of your visit to the brothel. Did you have a drink with the woman, chat about the latest gossip or get a sympathetic ear about some problems while she fetched you some snacks? It sounded like it was pretty cut and dried transaction for sex devoid of anything resembling emotion.

If you find the right one they can offer you all that and more. It helps if they're mute. But what they all share is a certain aching loneliness they seem to reach out to me and seek a connection all the time. I guess no one really listens to them, touches them, or looks into their eyes the same way..

If you're that sensitive to decor don't go. Perhaps you could move to Tokyo and discuss the finer points of Decor and be paid for it?

For many men yes sometimes its the illusion that you too can have the hot chick even if its for just a short time. Sounds like he might know tantric or something of that kind and with 60, yen, he's got 3 hrs to take you to heights several times over. My lover and I paid for a male escort to come and entertain me.. The escort was handsome, well built, polite, sexy, charming, intelligent.. We still talk about it..

Hi I lived in Japan for a year and remember seeing a documentary on this topic. The women interviewed said that they went to an escort bar to be flirted with and to feel appreciated, because Japanese husbands apparently don't do "romance". A very sad thing about the documentary was that a number of the women interviewed were escorts themselves - they paid male escorts for the attention and fake affection that they did not obtain through their work which involved sexual services or their boyfriends.

While drinking overpriced cocktails in a host bar benefits the owners as well as the Hosts, I think any "extra-curricular" activities are a personal matter. The same legal fiction is used to avoid prosecuting men who engage in enjo-kosai ["compensated dating"] with girls as young as It may not be as simple a matter as "selling one's body".

I'm certainly not defending it - rather, notice the different social situation in Japan, the nation that presents an astronomical rate of female sexual and relationship dissatisfaction, has an incredibly low birthrate, and where men seem to expect a relationship from the s while womens' expectations have changed a lot.

I'm sure a lot of women are in it for the sex, but the attached intimacy or idea of intimacy is also probably an attraction. Sam, if I read that right, you attributed the noms de plume to your two acquaintances for the purposes of the blog, but it comes as no surprise that Voodoo was doing better financially than Pigdog OK, true confession time, I have been to a brothel on 3 occasions - twice at age 17 and once maybe 19?

Did I think I was purchasing intimacy? Which wasn't happening for me otherwise at the time. I could say I was led astray by a friend on the first occasion but he didn't exactly hold a gun to my head.

The first time definitely not, too drunk, the other two times yes physically and I probably didn't think too much about it or anything else at that age otherwise.

I know bugger all about Japanese culture so will just say that based on yours and others' comments here, the situation you're describing definitely sounds a lot different from prostitution or escort services out here. Not necessarily better or worse - is faking an interest in someone's conversation 'better' than faking an interest in their genitalia? You see them in the street, exchange mobile numbers, and call them if you feel like it.

Tis what prostitution should be if you ask me! I didn't go for it myself, but wouldn't rule it out if I lived there!! As others have said, it's not a matter of being able to pull, it's not wanting the strings or the drama. Everyone has a need for great sex, but the options are not here for us. Given that they approach you most of the time, they get to pick who they want to shag, and you get quality shag!

Physical closeness is another matter. I am claiming responsiblity on behlaf of the BMFCS Billy Militia for Cheap Sex - Stormy knows 'em for leading Uncle Storm down the drain pipe; having hammered whores by the hundreds I have gracefully retired from the arena to take up the new fangled thing called lurv..

Gotta say, love them Ho's! HO-nest at the least, gimme cash not coupons and I'll give you copulation not confusion enthusiastic at times, non-judgemental and highly stress relieving. Would advise the judgemental that the biggest users of whores I know these days are by far and away recetly married young blokes who'd normally be ok 'on the pull' as it were. Most reckon it is just that much easier to stop and pay the toll on the way home from the club than argue witht the missus for a drunken bat suck at 3am..

Yes - Your husband and His mates.. As a child of the 60s who grew up in the 70s and was ready to root in the 80s right when the Grim Reaper did the whole bowl sex out the window routine.. Some of the reasons I was thinking this were that I hadn't been single for a long time and didn't want to get involved in any situation which might turn into another relationship and I'm not comfortable with the whole pick up thing, it normally takes me a while to figure out why some guy won't stop looking at me let along swapping numbers or body parts!

Another reason, the sex is so hit and miss sometimes that I figured if I was paying for it there is a better chance he'd be good and I didn't have to deal with the goodbyes afterwards but probably the biggest reason was because it would have been sex on my terms, not the terms of some guy I could easily have picked up but who could have been a total arse and using me for a quick shag. I've got nothing against consenting adults having casual sex but I don't like people lying to get others into bed, treating people without respect etc.

When I was young and single I used to think about hiring a male prostitute quite often but never followed through. I considered it for the same reasons any young guy would. Namely, no-strings attached sex. Girls, even nice shy girls like me, find the endless courting rituals mind-numbingly tedious. But I was put off by: All societies control women through self-worth and shame - women's self-esteems are strongly bound up in their femininity and submissiveness, and using a gigolo threatens these how would you feel if you found out your girlfriend had been using gigolos?

I think you really overestimate biological imperatives Sam. A lot of girls are deeply insecure or portray a false sexualised persona, and often don't realise for a long time how pretty they are or the sexual hold they have over men. See the film American Beauty for an excellent portrayal of this. Men and women are more alike than you think. A lot differences come down to cultural imperatives and social conditioning. My perception of sex as a great recreational activity changed after a short term fling went very bad.

It brought home to me that having sex is letting someone inside me, and I never again want someone inside me who doesnt care if they hurt me, or care if they might give me a disease or even care if I want them to be there. If I have sex again it will be because there is more than a physical connection. Yes, I miss sex very badly, but not badly enough to ever put myself at risk again.

And so far I'm all right with the idea that there may never be an emotional connection and I won't be touched again. The idea of paying someone to touch me is repellent.

I am a 32 yo attractive female and have been on both sides. Worked as an escort to get through university and hired a male escort when I wanted some action but didnt feel like flirting or being flirted with I instructed politely and he did what I required.

I'd say for women its about power and control, and the lack of necessity to negotiate intimacy -much as it is for men. The woman can be totally in control, and as she is paying for a service she has a rght to expect a high level of quality - smething that alot of guys don't care about in bed i.

No need to massage the guys ego if the sex was crap, just demand your money back! If more guys brought better attitudes into the bedroom, were more emotionally attentive and made more effort to physiclly please their partner the big O boys then maybe women everywhere wouldn't feel the need to pay for sex.

Like men, there are obviously women who are prepared to pay for what they are not gettin at home for free. I think the psychology is the same there. And ones purchasing power could get some quality time with a guy who has a-grade genes, not the genetic losers who are usually available for ONSs. Don't believe the shagging hype too much. And don't worry so much about your sexual experience or lack thereof. If you get into another relationship, then your partner should be willing to accept your lack of experience and perhaps be even a little thrilled by it, as they get to teach you stuff themesleves!

Good luck out there: By the way, I don't have any particular moral stand point on this issue re engaging the services of a man-whore I think, to each their own.. I personally don't think I could do it, I would need to have a connection to the person to enjoy the act. I suppose that a fella who fcks a woman for cash can be seen by some people as the epitome of male virility , but these days I think people would rather you keepo it in your trousers for someone worth it.

Would you do it? I dunno if I could , I like to have something meaningful and with someone you know what you are getting. Too clinical and empty. Fking randoms is just emotionally empty, like you are going from one beer glass to another not knowing the unknown quantity in any.

I got for the first fkn time since I can remember so this post must have some cred LOL. I find that once a single woman reaches a certain age I am 42 , the younger studs she brings back to her bed start to behave like gigolos anyway. The last three or so I've had, all outstanding specimens of manhood physically, would tend to leave after an hour or so. The only thing missing was a clear transaction. And yes, I began to find it increasingly boring having lovers who employed no tenderness and merely aped what they saw in porn movies, and as a result I no longer engage in any sexual activity, for the same reasons "anon" outlines above.

I find it remarkable that women would pay for sex, particularly when that style of sex - and from great looking men - is so on-tap via adult dating sites. You can virtually dial-a-stud and have him delivered within 20 minutes, no charge whatsoever. So I can only imagine it's a power thing for those women, as it so often is with rich men hiring female hookers.

And I suppose less of a risk if they're operating a legit business. Good luck to these he-whores. Whatever gets you through the night Hi Sam, good topic.

Women go on so much about 'all men use hookers' But they completely overlook that women albeit to a lesser degree use the services of sex workers. The latest 'trendy' thing to do is for older women to travel to African countries to have a 'sex holiday'. Though I rather think that women of the 50 and 60 year age range are stretching it a bit to called themselves 'older girls'.

As this massive number of women who divorced their husbands grows older they are finding it more and more difficult to find partners, hence the sex holidays. I did read an article in a Tasmanian newspaper now deleted that encouraged women over 60 who could not find male partners to settle for female partners instead. All through history women have claimed a 'moral superiority' and it has never, ever been true. Any gender that requires a 'pass' on purjury in court of law is making it clear that a very large proportion of them are willing to lie for their personal benefit, even under oath in a court of law.

I don't think so. HIM on July 28, 4: I've talked to many men who pay for sex. Many of them were trying to persuade me to do the same during my marriage. None of them talked of 'buying intimacy' The guys who talked with me about this had no illusions that there was no intimacy and no relationship.

You describe the last 12 years of my marriage very accurately. And I know many other men in the same boat. I used to have great sex, actually probably its the fault of my first boyfriend at 18 , whom really knew how to make love and make good moves, now Im married and to tell you the truth my partner doesn't measure up, so now I probably don't either because he can't understand my needs in or out of bed..

So what do I do tolerate, and have it when Im in need.. Would I pay for it Let me see If I were to choose to divorce my hubby and I met a guy whom appealled to me sexually I'd pay for a couple of drinks and maybe even more than one date if he was really a great guy then yeah I'd take him for a sexual interlude if he measured up Id continue dating him but expect him to pay sometimes also..

Now if I was single and hadn't slept with a man in months and desperate to get laid then maybe Id join a club and invite a blind date out with perks.. And I forgot the guy would have to bring a condom along or else the sex would have to wait!! I am sure it was. I prefer my Friday nights accompanied by a bottle of wine and a good hard snooze.

After a long term relationship at any age it is pretty normal to doubt if you are enough of anything for anyone. Don't be concerned at what someone else may think of you experience or lack of. Your body will respond as it responds. You will do what feels right for you. If you give direction you should make it gentle. You will also be given direction. If it doesn't feel right don't do it.

If it does, then do it. Kind of like step in, step out in time with each other. I do wish you the best. Don't believe the hype in this city. The people who constantly talk about how much sex they are getting are generally pretty unfulfilled and getting it through random encounters. Those that have the wonderful dirty, sweaty, lustful sex with someone that they adore and that person adores them generally don't have the need to talk so much. I am a lonely and completely desirable Sydney guy!

I am a 25 year old, good looking, very toned, normal, very successful professional. I am confident, intelligent, funny and I can hold a conversation. I live alone in a two bedroom apartment in a nice suburb and have a nice car. I am completely unattached, talented in the bedroom, very intimate and not clingy.

I am also an honest and good guy who regularly participates in charity work, but not too good, I know when to break the rules. So yeah you all think that I rate myself Why though am I having so much trouble finding a normal and attractive girl in Sydney at the moment? And in the middle of a supposed man drought! Well mostly because I am no good at approaching random girls in bars and much more comfortable in my close circle of friends.

And I suppose because my naturally confident and focused exterior make me difficult to approach without an introduction.

The increasing loss of community in our larger cities seems to me to be making existence in these cities increasingly lonelier for many inhabitants, while the focus of blogs like this is on, what seems to me to be the minority, of males who are sleeping with heaps woman and refusing to commit.

I imagine that contrary to what media pushes lots of contemporary men and woman are struggling for basic intimacy rather than leading exotic and prolific sex lives. What I want to know is: Sam, don't lose your faith in women - we are breaking free of the conditioning that we shouldn't like sex but we still have the moral superiority.

I think I can speak confidently to say that none of the women who buy sex would do so if the guy was under age or co-erced in any way either physically or because of a drugs habit and pimp. Personally, I'm an attractive 37 year old with a well paid job and an intellect that makes it hard to find many male partners who can talk to me without being intimidated bored?

I have 2 choices: So maybe i'd consider it although i wouldn't know where to look for this type of arrangement. As for women getting sex easily - does noone else worry about the safety of picking randoms up in bars? At least with a business deal this wouldn't be a concern. I used to live with a man escort housemate nothing intimate between us and the training he went through to learn about the woman and her sexual, emotional and intimacy needs is quite impressive!

On that count, hey if a man knows what he is doing, why not ey? You two should hook up, have safe, unlonely sex and lots of conversations about what it's like to be a good looking professional. Hey bluejoey, as previously stated one of the catalysts that got this 'chicks go to hos, oh noes' media beat ups started was wealthy older women 'buying' the favours of much younger men in developing countries.

Not so moral methinks. Well put, and i really feel for you as my situation is the same. Ahh if only all the genuine souls out there who want meaningful relationships and aren't interested in casual anythings, could somehow find a way to meet and really get to know each other, without all the bullshit and trawling for random sex that ALL the current dating sites offer up, which is a huge put-off for women when it comes to participating in these dating sites.

Even Get-a-life is a masquerade, as on 2 out of three events I have been to I was hit on by desperate guys who didn't want to respect my vocalised boundaries on the first night I met them! Nowheres safe -even an activity based socialising site like GAL, still brings out the guys who just want physical intimacy without emotional intimacy i. I hate the thought of prostitution but I would hate to think what the men in our society would be like if no woman anywhere would take them.

It is probably for the same reason that majority of men visiting brothels are married! So what do I do? Stay faithful to my wife even though the sex is not that great or be a little naughty and see if there are like minded women out there, who are simply interested in some mind blowing sexual activity? Or like the Japanese folks, start visiting brothels for some no strings attached, good sex?

I've often wondered why in our so called free society, men and women can't just have free sex with whomsoever they fancy, irrespective of whether they are in a relationship or not. Overwhelmingly, my experience with Japan has been in the suburban world of Mums, Dads, kids and community. They might talk and joke about it, but they rarely if ever take a step into that world. Most Japanese men I know are family types who find the practice of compensated sex with schoolgirls repugnant.

But, what goes on in suburbia? An earlier post mentioned that Japanese husbands don't do "romance". I have read also read that once the requisite number of babies are punched out, the Japanese marriage becomes sexless. I suspect that both are true to some extent. Not many hostess bars or brothels around here, so what do the men do? Well, Japan does have a massive porn industry. I also personally know 2 older men who took mistresses, and while they were discreet, everyone knew about it, including their wives.

This does not happen much these days, as Japan and it's social values are evolving to more resemble the West. Mr Takeshita, the local pervert and gossip-meister never fails to report to me in detail who has bought what from the Pink Shop Adult Stuff Store.

The fact that I always tell him I don't want to know doesn't stop him. If his information is correct, then this suburb should be awash with the humm of battery operated gadgets. But, I believe his information to be unreliable due to the fact that he seems to be obsessed with one thing. A bit like that funny old lady in the supermarket who thinks it quite okay to ask me personal questions in a loud voice.

I think a lot of Japanese women spend much of their lives harbouring fantasies of intimacy and romance, compensating for the lack of it through TV soap operas, baths, pachinko, shopping, companionship with female friends. It's hardly surprising that some would take the step of acting out their fantasy at a Host Bar.

The gaijin fantasy figures in there somewhere. The Caucasian male is the ideal of the perfect man projected into Japan by mostly American culture. Everytime I walk down the street I notice women looking at me and they aren't always just looking at my face. I am the only Caucasian man in this area but, apart from premature grey hair, I am no Richard Gere. My wife has a married friend who flirts with me. She checks me out. We all know that women have this gift of wonderful peripheral vision that allows them to size up a man's goods without being noticed.

Well, this woman either doesn't have that gift or she wants me to know what she's doing. Recently she asked my wife for some photos of me when I was 18 or Out of curiosity of course. Then she told me this story.

It goes like this: A 50ish woman customer established a relationship with him and they started doing the compensated dating thing. Then one day the woman said to him "If you eat my number 2s, I'll give you a Benz car. Apart from being gross, the story has an Urban Mythish ring to it.

But, the real question is WHY did she tell me? I recall talking to a friend and asking if he would go down on a girl. He replied with 'what do you do down there? I must be wired weird. I've paid money to spend time with girls, only to make sure they enjoyed themselves. I get such a kick putting a smile on a girl's face.

The best complement I've received would be teling me that computer nerds rock, as we're as good as guartarists. She was referring to what I could do with my hands. Maximum words remaining.

Sam de Brito has spent more than a decade writing for TV, film and newspapers. All Men are Liars. Download some of the videos if you want a chuckle - there's certainly no Richard Geres here.

Moz July 28, Checkout Chick July 28, Observer Hotel - Rocks www. Friday 01 August, Juliette July 28, Pepsi Cola July 28, Zyphire July 28, M July 28, HIM July 28, Yin and Yang July 28, The Key-Master July 28, A July 28, Chekout Chick July 28, Hulk Hands are obligatory attendance Howgood R Wags July 28, HOwgood R Wags July 28, Makes James Squire look like a top venue Lotus July 28, M on July 28, 4: Have a good time at the blog drinks, everyone - have a few for me.

How does one go about finding a quality man-whore anyway? That looks like a post-modernistic presumption to me. Millstarr July 28, Mish July 28, Chloe July 28, I need an emotional connection to have sex with someone. Thanks for the heads up on the photo. JEQP July 29, CatyG July 29,

For a fee, I can call in and they will tell me if the client has a history of giving the girls problems, where he works, and his full name.

If I was touring then there were extra expenses such as travel costs, hotels, and more advertising costs. That said, my choice to become an escort had a definite cost associated with it beyond the advertising, photos, and websites.

I believe it is close to impossible to have a healthy relationship while working. So it can be a lonely life. In addition, hiding my job from my friends and family proved to be difficult for many reasons. How do you think prostitution would change if it were legalised?

Would you want your own child to become a prostitute? If the social and legal ramifications were gone, I think that being an escort might be like being a therapist I have never been a therapist, so my knowledge is obviously limited.

Like most escorts, a therapist sells his or her skills by the hour. A therapist also has to meet people for the first time not knowing who is walking in the door. Many have their own offices and work alone. In addition, the session is generally private and requires discretion. If I had a child, I would hope that they would feel empowered, and have the opportunity to do whatever they desire to do, and that they would be in charge of their own sexuality.

This job has its downsides, though, and can take a high toll on a person. So, like any parent, I would always want more for my child than I had for myself.

I feel that prostitution should be legal. I realise that there are women in prostitution who are there because they feel like they have to be. These women work in a different part of the industry than I did. Many have drug or abuse issues, among other problems. I think, instead of spending time and finite resources on arresting and criminalizing these women, we should spend our resources on making sure that these women have other opportunities and a place to go for help.

Women who want to be should be able to. I feel that no one should have to take a job to make a living that is against his or her own moral judgment. That said, legalization does not remove all the barriers to entry. The job still would have a huge negative stigma associated with it, both for the escorts and the clients.

Dubner and Levitt wrote that you have some economics training. Has that informed the way you think about your occupation? Levitt and Stephen J. NATO troops on the front line with Russia are taking new steps to protect against electronic attacks. Traders are increasingly less convinced about the prospect of rate hikes in Australia and New Zealand. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon. Globe Icon An icon of the world globe. A high-end call girl answers questions about her job, her clients, and her business model.

It's an interesting social hypocrisy that prostitutes of both sexes who sell themselves to men are considered tragic or contemptible figures, while the man who is paid for sex by women is viewed as desirable, a veritable legend. Male Gigolo and gave us the term "man-whore". It's telling that in American Gigolo , Schrader , whose other screenplays include the realist masterpieces Taxi Driver and Raging Bull , bought into the macho fantasy that there's a community of beautiful, rich women out there who'll gladly pay men to have sex with them.

Maybe that's true in rare cases, but it's my guess that in the majority of instances, people who pay for sex are the ones who cannot get it for free and I'm sure there's not too many hottie, cashed-up babes who fall into this category. There are, however, women who pay for sex, as there are men who sell their bodies to women, as I recently learned more about when two of my acquaintances revealed their pasts as "escorts" in Tokyo Male escorts for women is big business in Japan and websites like My Yes Man though unquestionably on the cheesy side show there's no shortage of foreign men including Aussies living in the Land of the Rising Sun who are prepared to hire themselves out for "dates".

The "date" in this instance is a little less cut and dried than if you'd booked a male escort in a western country: In both men's cases, their clients were older Japanese women whose husbands were wealthy, traveled regularly and they had no intention of divorcing them - they were looking for a bit of human intimacy and had the means to extract the required enthusiasm from younger, Caucasian men.

As I've written in other posts , I'm somewhat conflicted about prostitution and until talking to these two men, had considered the desire to buy another person's body a masculine trait. However, as I mentioned above, male escorts for women is big business in Japan, with The Guardian newspaper reporting in the country sported more then " host clubs and bars for women determined to claim part of Japan's lucrative escort business for themselves.

The crux of the prostitution problem for me is that I don't find it a turn-on to have some pretend even artfully that they are attracted to me; however, for many men, this is one of their biggest drivers - the thrill of knowing they can purchase another person's intimacy. Aren't they hardwired to seek authentic connections, is not paid sex a short in nature's reproductive circuitry?

I've made the mistake before of bequeathing women a moral superiority they don't have - so I'm interested to hear from female readers as to whether hiring a man-whore is something they've ever done and what was the attraction? If you've not done it, is it something you would consider, and what would be the reason - simply the sex, the taboo, the conversation or just the fun of a new experience?

If you'd like to email me with a topic suggestion or just vent, try here. I now have too many unanswered emails to catch up on, so I'm instituting a no-reply policy unless you're hot. In advance, I thank you for your email. When posting comments on our blogs, you agree to be bound by our terms and conditions. Comments that are offensive, defamatory, unsuitable or that breach any aspects of the terms and conditions will be deleted. I am still, at 46, surprised at how many women are into just sex as much as Joe Average is supposed to be and lets not forget those juiced up women lunging at male strippers - so sure, I imagine women will be doing this more and more.

There's something lovely about an attentive male, even with no sex included. But to be honest, in my mind, he would have to look like Robert Buckley from 'Lipstick Jungle' or David Beckham to warrant having to pay for it. But hey, those standards might fall in a few years I guess.

I'm well aware it is not the rule but I can't help associating prostitution with exploitation of women who have few other choices, from drugs or desperation. This is mainly because of the visibility of those poor creatures standing around in the cross during winter. For some reason the idea of women buying sex from men seems less sleazy despite the desperation for human touch it implies.

My girl friends and I have talked about it and accepted it would be exciting to try a no-strings attached, presumably hot encounter with hopefully a great looking guy without all the awkwardness of a one-night stand.

So they pay for a man-whore Why don't we buy sex? Because young, nubile, ripped, go-all-night boys are easy. All they want is no strings sex. It's like taking candy from a bebe. I'm not sure if it's purely random chance that you chose Japan as the place to take your example from but Japanese culture has alot to do with it being so common over there.

It has traditionally been a society with fairly stiff social roles, with men typically working massive amounts of hours per week, with the women staying at home once married. Anyone who's worked obsence hours before will tell you what it does to your sex drive and your energy levels in general.

Divorces are also much rarer and come with more stigma, people tend to end up trapped with no way out. The cultural norms in Japan are just very different than what we have here in the land of Oz, though they are slowly changing. But reguardless, i'm not terribly surprised people seek out some affection elsewhere. No one can defeat loneliness, only reach out to others. I can't bring myself to pass judgement on the way others chose to deal with it, if it doesn't hurt another person, what right does anyone?

I have never hired someone to have sex with me. To me it removes any sense of sponteneity that is part of the turn on. There was a man who distributed leaflets about 3 and a half years ago in the Inner West offering his services.

The advertising was around sensual massages and escort services, but I wondered who in the area would engage him for those services. I guess it isn't much different to buying a vibrator except there is a person attached to the appendage.

I do recall at the time of the leaflet drop that I did miss the intomacy from being sexually involved with another human being. I have to say that when it is with someone you care about and who cares for you it is so much better than with someone who is just there like in the situation of a one night stand.

There was a documentary on SBS some time ago regarding the sex industry in Japan. Much of the documentary was focussed on the men working in the escort bars and their clients. It was very interesting that many of the clients also worked in the sex industry. Unfortunately they spent most of their money on the men at the escort bars and so it really perpetuated the cycle of prostitution for those women.

Never paid for sex with a man-whore and never even had a thought of it! Something about it just turns me off completely And I think if a women really wanted sex she could find it without having to pay for it. Plenty of men out there that would be willing to comply. So yes, in my personal opinion, I would be more likely to look for someone who finds me attractive and to whom I have some chemistry with too. And I am not at all interested in buying that connection.

And here I am planning my trip to Japan thinking what should I get up to Involving money can control the situation and create clear expectations.

If I were a rich lonely lass and times were dire maybe I'd consider it but I'd much prefer being cuddled up to the love of my life if he exists and having fun times in the sack with him.

Nothing beats something genuine, you can't buy love. I'm booked in for a holiday to Japan in a few weeks Makes sense for the mature and wealthy, possibly high status woman. She can hardly hit the local pub or hit on her son's school mates now, can she?

If she wants discretion secrecy , plus the guarantee that this boy won't be someone who moves within her circles, plus a certain standard of performance - no drunk ten minute performances or messy body hygiene, plus the certainty that this will be safe sex and all on her terms remember a young man is still physically stronger than an older woman - i. Plus, she will probably get a lot more bang for her buck than going through the three or four date process it would take to get sex from a man her own age who she was contemplating as serious relationship material.

But given many of my business acquaintences particularly up here in Asia it makes so much sense. I couldn't imagine paying someone for sex. Just knowing that they were saying and doing nice things to me simply because I was paying them and therefore with no sincerity would kill it for me.

I wonder if that's the same documentary I saw. The thing that struck me as the most pathetic was that all these girls had 'crushes' on the guys they were paying and I think many of them were deluded that they had a genuine relationship.

Paying someone for sex without real passion, i don't think so Seems to me it is much much lonelier to be in a relationship with an absent or disinterested partner than it is to be single. Also it is more "dangerous" to seek intimacy elsewhere if, as in the scenario described, a person has no intention of leaving their spouse.

I wonder if part of the appeal is the strictly transactional nature: Personally I can't really imagine hiring a man-whore while single - but by all means ask me again in 20 years. On the other hand, if I was in a relationship that temporarily?

In a perverse way, I like the idea of paying to hear a man's flattery and lies - if flattery and lies are what you need at that time. Or of showering someone with affection simply because you want to be affectionate and them accepting that, instead of running fast in the opposite direction, or interpreting it to mean something more.

At least you know what you are getting and why - seems less cynical and delusional to me. Either that or I am cynical beyond repair. I have paid a man for a date - iteraly a date.

He attended a corporate do with me at a time when I did not have a partner or a single male hand bag. He made it clear that he would "complete the deal" - however I left it at the date - that is all I needed. He was buff and well presented - but the whole thing did nothing for me sexually.

I do though - have an FB who I do not date at all - outside the bedroom. Nor do I pay him, or recieve payment. It's a mutually agreeable situation. So I think as humans we pay for what we need at the time At least when it's free the power is equal between the two parties - I would not like an interaction where there was an imbalance in that power. The extended courting in the Japanese escort service makes me think at lot of it is motivated by the clients sheer loneliness and the need to feel physically close to someone else.

I guess it might be a low class status symbol in some circles. Paying someone to pretend they like you and think you are hot - wow that is too sad. Better off channelling energies into being a good friend and better person. But I can't help it. It's just the way I am. Sex is still special to me.

If you really wanted a prostitute in Japan, male or female, there are definite ways of going about it and it doesn't involve going to bars to chat them up for a while and laying out alot of cash.

To say that prostitution is illegal in Japan is like saying gambling is illegal in Japan and there's a pachinko parlor on every corner. You want it, you go and pay for it. There is also a sort of hierarchy to hostess bars hostess bars, "pubs" and "snacks" - there's a decent explanation on wikipedia.

If she wants to have sex, she does, if not, then she doesn't. Reading the article about host bars it does seem that most of the women used the host service for interaction, because Japan is one of the loneliest spots on earth. Most women who pay for sex do it for the same reasons Charlie Sheen said he did. It's about control and paying them to leave. And besides, the "older" women described would be beyond reproduction.

Not everything is Darwinian. What independent woman would be willing to pay that price? Also, taking a younger foreign "lover" is an act of revenge for a number of women to shame their husbands who probably have a permanent mistress or two.

Although not a woman, I have been to one gigolo bar in China - there are a handful of them in wealthier cities, known locally as Duck Bars. I was in the company of friends, only visiting for a laugh really It's very popular among some girls to go there, the place is ultra trendy, and the pretty-boy Chinese guys are all hanging round thinking they are pretty cool. I've asked a local female friend what's the attraction - and it seems it's all about power and switching the dynamics of who's in charge.

Some of the guys make very good money, though probably on a lower scale than what they might in Japan. Western guys don't really hang out there proferring themselves, as the girls like to chat in Chinese, order them around, get them to do this, do that etc I think for some girls it gives them power and a sense of freedom of choice, which holds a certain allure among newly cashed up Chinese honeys who do it because they can This happens a lot in the Caribbean too It's been going on for years and it's increasingly common.

This has a different context, with rich people going to third world countries and effectively exploiting them. It's a lot harder in these cases to assume that the men have other options The sickening part is that at least some of these women I'm going off news reports here have the opinion that "if it's good enough for men, it's good enough for us". Why pay for a man-whore when you can jump on Lava-life?! Loads of people willing to give it away for free! She told him she hadn't had sex for a year and knew she was going to die and didn't want to die without it one more time.

He told her to put the money away, did the deed - though he said it was very difficult to do, as he was not turned on but he felt very sorry for her. Fast forward to now and although not dying no more than we all are it's been 3.

Yes, I DIY, but giving yourself a big hug when you need it isn't possible. I wonder whether I'll ever hold hands again - let alone anything more. For the record, I still get looks from men, including younger men and I know that a one-night stand is no problem, but that's no longer what I want - no moral judgement, just not where I want to be - especially in a small town.

I don't know what I'll think in another year I don't think you can purchase another's intimacy. Just hire their bits for a while. That said, there are some bi guys advertising their services in the local gay rag that are looking increasingly appealing. I wonder if they're actually bi or just widening their target audience?

Not a chance in hell. I pay for the detachment. If they can perfect that bored 'thinking about the laundry' look - so much the better.

The thought of hiring an escort has crossed my mind. I dont consider myself to be a fugly and know if I wanted to I could get a one nighter but I dont think I have the personality for one-nighters. The thing is I have only ever been in one relationship which lasted for 5 years. I have never had any other partners and now I am finding myself in a city where I am 26 and only ever slept with one person.

After reading this blog and another it seems that all of Sydney is out shagging a lot and guys seem to have racked up a number of partners that makes me gasp, so the thought of going to bed with such experienced people scares the crap out of me.

The reason I have thought about seeing an escort is more for the learning as all I've learnt is from one sort of dud although I never minded because I loved him.

I just kind of think if I was to get a bit of experience from someone who was obviously in the business I might not feel so self concious whenever I eventually meet my next partner. Purely a commercial transaction. He made me consider the whole option.

My friend and I were fascinated as were the gay boys we were with as to how he got into the game, and how he felt about it. He was a nice guy, erudite and interesting and dd I mention HOT? He said it was a better gig than plumbing while he was trying to get into film.

His clientele were sometimes lonely, sometimes just in town for a night My friend and I could see the point in it after meeting him. A couple of people have tried to use this thing called "culture" to explain away this stuff in Japan but that is the biggest cop-out of it all.

Escort services have been around for a while but it would have been interesting to hear how successful the women-visiting-brothel idea has been and, if it has been successful, why this service isn't offered in their Sydney premises.

I think it's fair that women have this avenue. It's a lot safer - emotionally and physically. No wondering if the guy is going to call, if it's going to turn into something, and it provides a much-needed physical release - isn't that why men find it so attractive? Also, it's a well-known fact that if you are, shall we say, relaxed, then you tend to be more attractive to the opposite sex - something to do with pheromones and not seeming so desperate I guess. I have considered paying for an escort purely because I want an experienced lover who will give me their attention.

I find that the men I have been with 8 are mainly concerned about their satisfaction and I haven't found anyone willing to satisfy his partner first. I'm not ugly and don't have trouble meeting men but I can't find an experienced man who is considerate lover to want to satisfy a woman and I can't help but think I'll only be able to get this by paying for it. Btw I have been told I am a very good lover so i'm not being picky or selfish i'm just sick of being left hanging after my partner has had a fulfiling time and forgets about my needs.

I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who date a guy who starts out fab, but then ends up doing nothing, then never seems to have money when its time to pay for bills or food. Or always says that he will pay you back later and never does.

And I figure with an escort, if he wants repeat business he is going to treat the women with courtesy and respect. I consider prostitution to be one of those. Sure, we can and do go out and woo people, but sometimes you just want the ice cream without milking the cow, crushing the fruit, whipping up all the ingredients and bunging it in the freezer for a while. And when it's done, you don't have to feed the cow, tend the fruit tree, or pay the freezer's electricity bill.

As for killing the thrill, different strokes for different folks. Sometimes I buy and ice cream and the person selling it to me smiles and we have a pleasant exchange, and other times they don't. And sometimes I might buy ice cream regularly from the same store because I like the person behind the counter, and we may not become friends, but we're friendly.

Well, the drinks ARE cheaper If you have a better one, please feel free to let me know and we will use it if we do another one sometime I used to work in a host bar in Japan. It was just a bar where business men came to practice their English. The boss was a bitch, Theearly 40's, reasonably attractive. She'd probably worked in the water trade 'mizu-shobai' most of her life.

Anyway I accepted her offer to go out for a drink. I had no intention of having sex with her, but she wouldn't let up so she got lucky. I left very shortly after. Though I received numerous offers for sex with women in Japan.

Why would I bother money is just so easy to 'work' for. Anyway, in Japan it is different. It is quite normal for women to pay for sex. As a Japanese girl once so eloquently observed. Prostitution is everywhere in Japan, you can't escape it. It is purely about consumption of desirable objects.

Japanese don't even consider emotions could have anything to do with it. Western women think it's easy for them to pick up a hot guy. But I know so many girls that haven't had sex for years because they are deluding themselves about what their chances really are.

Haven't yet though, and anyway I thought most gigolos did both men and women which isn't appetising. However, the guy should offer something more than I can get from a one night stand or vibrator - I'm thinking a seriously good lover, maybe well versed in tantric.

Someone who is in no rush, and over a couple of hours, can take me to heights several times. It takes a long time to teach a boyfriend how to do this - so there are many times in my life when I would have paid for that kind of sex. I thought I would have a go and try and organise a nice little get together for AMAL's 2nd birthday, even though I really had decided not to organise any more of them, due to all the crap I get about it At the end of the day, choice is yours as to whether you attend or not and whether you have a good time or not They are not about buying sex which can be done more directly but more about having the ideal companion s for a night out.

The customers are paying for the attention of someone who is attractive and charming who focuses on them instead of openly keeping one eye out for a better prospect and will not demand anything more of them then continuing to spend money while they are in the club or on a date.

Someone who is willing to listen to their stories and laugh at bad jokes while being very entertaining in their own right. Think of going to to a top restaurant, hotel or bar. Part of the attraction is the good service you receive that makes you feel a valued guest, that they remember your preferences and do all they can to make your experience a positive one. The hosts receive part of any money that is spent by one of their clients in the club so they have an incentive to have the guests find the club an attractive place and to prefer them as a host.

So for many men and women this is part of a good night out - where they have drinks with attractive charming people who won't put demands on them or disrupt current relationships. Sex is not part of the transaction and is not expected. A host or hostess may arrange for this with some clients on a date but they don't have to. Compare this to your description of your visit to the brothel. Did you have a drink with the woman, chat about the latest gossip or get a sympathetic ear about some problems while she fetched you some snacks?

It sounded like it was pretty cut and dried transaction for sex devoid of anything resembling emotion. If you find the right one they can offer you all that and more. It helps if they're mute. But what they all share is a certain aching loneliness they seem to reach out to me and seek a connection all the time. I guess no one really listens to them, touches them, or looks into their eyes the same way.. If you're that sensitive to decor don't go.

Perhaps you could move to Tokyo and discuss the finer points of Decor and be paid for it? For many men yes sometimes its the illusion that you too can have the hot chick even if its for just a short time. Sounds like he might know tantric or something of that kind and with 60, yen, he's got 3 hrs to take you to heights several times over. My lover and I paid for a male escort to come and entertain me..

The escort was handsome, well built, polite, sexy, charming, intelligent.. We still talk about it.. Hi I lived in Japan for a year and remember seeing a documentary on this topic. The women interviewed said that they went to an escort bar to be flirted with and to feel appreciated, because Japanese husbands apparently don't do "romance".

A very sad thing about the documentary was that a number of the women interviewed were escorts themselves - they paid male escorts for the attention and fake affection that they did not obtain through their work which involved sexual services or their boyfriends.

While drinking overpriced cocktails in a host bar benefits the owners as well as the Hosts, I think any "extra-curricular" activities are a personal matter. The same legal fiction is used to avoid prosecuting men who engage in enjo-kosai ["compensated dating"] with girls as young as It may not be as simple a matter as "selling one's body". I'm certainly not defending it - rather, notice the different social situation in Japan, the nation that presents an astronomical rate of female sexual and relationship dissatisfaction, has an incredibly low birthrate, and where men seem to expect a relationship from the s while womens' expectations have changed a lot.

I'm sure a lot of women are in it for the sex, but the attached intimacy or idea of intimacy is also probably an attraction. Sam, if I read that right, you attributed the noms de plume to your two acquaintances for the purposes of the blog, but it comes as no surprise that Voodoo was doing better financially than Pigdog OK, true confession time, I have been to a brothel on 3 occasions - twice at age 17 and once maybe 19?

Did I think I was purchasing intimacy? Which wasn't happening for me otherwise at the time. I could say I was led astray by a friend on the first occasion but he didn't exactly hold a gun to my head. The first time definitely not, too drunk, the other two times yes physically and I probably didn't think too much about it or anything else at that age otherwise.

I know bugger all about Japanese culture so will just say that based on yours and others' comments here, the situation you're describing definitely sounds a lot different from prostitution or escort services out here. Not necessarily better or worse - is faking an interest in someone's conversation 'better' than faking an interest in their genitalia? You see them in the street, exchange mobile numbers, and call them if you feel like it. Tis what prostitution should be if you ask me! I didn't go for it myself, but wouldn't rule it out if I lived there!!

As others have said, it's not a matter of being able to pull, it's not wanting the strings or the drama. Everyone has a need for great sex, but the options are not here for us. Given that they approach you most of the time, they get to pick who they want to shag, and you get quality shag! Physical closeness is another matter. I am claiming responsiblity on behlaf of the BMFCS Billy Militia for Cheap Sex - Stormy knows 'em for leading Uncle Storm down the drain pipe; having hammered whores by the hundreds I have gracefully retired from the arena to take up the new fangled thing called lurv..

Gotta say, love them Ho's! HO-nest at the least, gimme cash not coupons and I'll give you copulation not confusion enthusiastic at times, non-judgemental and highly stress relieving. Would advise the judgemental that the biggest users of whores I know these days are by far and away recetly married young blokes who'd normally be ok 'on the pull' as it were. Most reckon it is just that much easier to stop and pay the toll on the way home from the club than argue witht the missus for a drunken bat suck at 3am..

Yes - Your husband and His mates.. As a child of the 60s who grew up in the 70s and was ready to root in the 80s right when the Grim Reaper did the whole bowl sex out the window routine.. Some of the reasons I was thinking this were that I hadn't been single for a long time and didn't want to get involved in any situation which might turn into another relationship and I'm not comfortable with the whole pick up thing, it normally takes me a while to figure out why some guy won't stop looking at me let along swapping numbers or body parts!

Another reason, the sex is so hit and miss sometimes that I figured if I was paying for it there is a better chance he'd be good and I didn't have to deal with the goodbyes afterwards but probably the biggest reason was because it would have been sex on my terms, not the terms of some guy I could easily have picked up but who could have been a total arse and using me for a quick shag.

I've got nothing against consenting adults having casual sex but I don't like people lying to get others into bed, treating people without respect etc. When I was young and single I used to think about hiring a male prostitute quite often but never followed through.

I considered it for the same reasons any young guy would. Namely, no-strings attached sex. Girls, even nice shy girls like me, find the endless courting rituals mind-numbingly tedious.

But I was put off by: All societies control women through self-worth and shame - women's self-esteems are strongly bound up in their femininity and submissiveness, and using a gigolo threatens these how would you feel if you found out your girlfriend had been using gigolos?

I think you really overestimate biological imperatives Sam.

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