Let me preface this by saying I grew up in a well-to-do family. In the beginning of my crack addiction I always swore to myself and to anyone who brought up the subject that I would never sell sex for money. Unfortunately, I was very naive and uninformed about the progression of addiction and I did not yet know what desperation felt like.
I do not remember my first trick, but I do remember many. I have had sex with as many as 12 men in a day. The busiest times were early in the morning when white men in business suits were on their way to work, or during lunch time when they could sneak off for a quickie. It was always about the money to me and I was always in a hurry to get it over with. I spent no time talking or even pretending to be interested in the men.
I'm sorry to say that, more often than not I had unprotected sex, and it is truly by the grace of God I never caught anything. I am now six years sober and more than the thought of drugs, I am lured to the thought of getting back in to prostitution. Something about the thought of a man paying me to have sex with them turns me on. Instead I have a boring life and a boring job and from time to time to spice things up I tell my husband stories of different clients.
I placed a personal ad with the offer to meet a client at a hotel for a private lap-dancing session. I had been a dancer for three years, but had started to hate going to the clubs. I enjoyed the sensuality and intimacy of the job, but hated the crowds, noise and cigarette smoke. The ad stressed that the sessions would be dancing only.
I asked that we meet first in a public place, for a cocktail or coffee. I phrased this as "us getting to know each other", but it was basically to give my gut a chance to tell me whether I would be safe with the person.
I was polite, but firm about all of my requests. Very few of the initial responders followed up with me after this, but the ones who did sounded respectful and sane. The first client I met was a guy from out of town.
He sounded very nervous in the emails we exchanged, and I wasn't sure he would actually keep the date we made that evening at a smart bar. The first thing he told me was that he was not going to go through with our date, but he felt bad about standing me up and would buy me a drink and tip for my time.
We had a drink together and I drew him out about what he was looking for. As a dancer, I know lots of ways to set men at their ease and encourage them to open up to me. He told me a familiar story: I've heard many versions of this story, and it always makes me sad.
He told me that I was too young; I was 28 and he was He talked about how much he missed touching and holding and looking at a woman. We kept talking about the human need for intimacy, and I could tell he did want the meeting. We went to his room. It was a very nice room, in a nice hotel. It was much more intimate than dancing in the club, where there are lights and noise and distraction.
We had a pleasant, playful time, and ended up spending several hours together. He paid me at the end and counting out the money seemed to kill the mood for both of us a little bit. I made a mental note that if I did this again I would ask for the money up front. Afterwards, he offered to drive me back to the bar and I felt safe enough with him to accept. The drive was slightly awkward. He seemed to feel odd about dropping me off on the street.
I wondered if he was having regrets about the session. He was rather cold when he said goodbye, and I was surprised to notice that I felt a little hurt. This was the only time during the session when I felt "dirty" about what I'd done. I felt he was judging me. I made a conscious decision not to let this bother me: I probably wouldn't see him again, and it was just a business transaction, so it didn't really matter what he thought about me. I would offer this advice to clients, though: You're not the only one who has feelings about what just happened.
In my post-university slump, I felt like my life was in the drain. Now that I was in a new city, the area strip clubs were more plentiful. I went to one "audition". The girls were snorting coke in the dressing room, and the bouncers seemed more malicious and oversexed than the customers. I did not go back. I remembered a roommate I had in university who signed up as an escort through an online service. I drove two hours to his house, white-knuckled in anticipation of what I was about to do.
He was middle aged, pretty average-looking — balding, in OK shape. I don't want to seem flippant when I talk about the sex. There was nothing special about it except for the fact that it was the first time in my young life that I was literally prostituting myself.
In retrospect, my opinion of prostitution is that it is fine if you have straightened it out in your head as to why you are doing it and what you get out of it, but you are risking your safety and your health. Can you charge a price high enough to compensate for that? And the sex was nothing I remember anything about.
He left his television muted on CNN the whole time. My biggest concern was that I had very little experience and that it would show I had only had sex a couple of times in my life.
My next worry was that I would not be able to fill a full two hours with sexual entertainment. Such a state of affairs is a long way from what was envisaged by German legislators 12 years ago who thought legalisation would not only end stigma, it would also protect the women from the ravages of the sex trade.
But Germany has now become a sex tourism hotspot while many in the country strongly oppose legal brothels. In Britain, the question of whether or not to legalise prostitution remains vexed, although plans were brought forward last year to overhaul the current system. A classic British fudge, most forms of prostitution are illegal in the UK but buying and selling sex indoors is permitted in certain circumstances.
Many of the men who visit say they are simply buying a service from the girls who work there. Prostitution was legalised in Germany in which led to a boom in the number of brothels. Paradise is among the most upmarket, although there are many other types available. Beretin says making prostitution legal in the UK isn't needed. Watts, having spent an extended stretch in the brothel, is against it too but for very different reasons. On balance, I feel it's not a good idea.
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Girls who sleep with up to 20 men a night and the clients who say sex is just another 'service': Inside the seedy world of one of Germany's biggest brothels Share this article Share. Share or comment on this article: Girls of Germany's biggest brothel Paradise have sex with up to 20 men a night e-mail Most watched News videos Guilty dog slinks away after being caught in swimming pool Shocking moment puppy 'trapped' inside hot truck for 40 minutes Woman has meltdown when flight diverts for medical emergency Motorcyclist gets soft landing after falling into truck bed 79 year old priest talks relationship with 25 year old model Cat is stunned as it sees snake for the first time at vet Mother bear is run over by train attempting to protect its cubs 'GET OUT!
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