I do not have a moral problem with having sex for money, as long as it's safe, and between consenting adults. However, I have always been concerned about how the social and legal issues may affect my future and the people that I love.
They tend to be doctors, lawyers, and businessmen looking to get away for a few hours in the middle of the day. Almost all of my clients are married. I'm not trying to justify this business, but these are men looking for companionship.
They are generally not men that couldn't have an affair [if they wanted to], but men who want this tryst with no strings attached. They're men who want to keep their lives at home intact. I rarely got the opportunity to find out if the wives were okay with it, but I did see several couples, so I assume they were okay with it.
Do you know the real names of your clients? I insist that they give me their full names and their place of work so that I can contact them there before we meet. I also check their identification when we meet. I also use verification companies, which assist escorts in verification of clients. These companies do the verification of the client and put them in a database so that when the client wants to meet with a girl for the first time, he doesn't have to go through the verification process again.
For a fee, I can call in and they will tell me if the client has a history of giving the girls problems, where he works, and his full name. If I was touring then there were extra expenses such as travel costs, hotels, and more advertising costs. Being an escort provided me with many opportunities that I'm not sure I would have gotten if I had not been an escort. That said, my choice to become an escort had a definite cost associated with it beyond the advertising, photos, and websites.
I believe it is close to impossible to have a healthy relationship while working. So it can be a lonely life. In addition, hiding my job from my friends and family proved to be difficult for many reasons. How do you think prostitution would change if it were legalized? Would you want your own child to become a prostitute? If the social and legal ramifications were gone, I think that being an escort might be like being a therapist I have never been a therapist, so my knowledge is obviously limited.
Like most escorts, a therapist sells his or her skills by the hour. A therapist also has to meet people for the first time not knowing who is walking in the door. Many have their own offices and work alone. In addition, the session is generally private and requires discretion. I imagine that many times therapists have patients that they like and some they don't.
A therapist's revenue, like almost all other occupations, probably increases if the client feels that the therapist likes them. I don't mean to imply that I have the skills of a trained therapist, or to in any way demean what they do; I'm just observing some obvious similarities. If I had a child, I would hope that they would feel empowered, and have the opportunity to do whatever they desire to do, and that they would be in charge of their own sexuality. This job has its downsides, though, and can take a high toll on a person.
I know that it's made many aspects of my life and my relationships more difficult. So, like any parent, I would always want more for my child than I had for myself. I feel that prostitution should be legal. I spent no time talking or even pretending to be interested in the men.
I'm sorry to say that, more often than not I had unprotected sex, and it is truly by the grace of God I never caught anything. I am now six years sober and more than the thought of drugs, I am lured to the thought of getting back in to prostitution. Something about the thought of a man paying me to have sex with them turns me on.
Instead I have a boring life and a boring job and from time to time to spice things up I tell my husband stories of different clients. I placed a personal ad with the offer to meet a client at a hotel for a private lap-dancing session. I had been a dancer for three years, but had started to hate going to the clubs. I enjoyed the sensuality and intimacy of the job, but hated the crowds, noise and cigarette smoke. The ad stressed that the sessions would be dancing only.
I asked that we meet first in a public place, for a cocktail or coffee. I phrased this as "us getting to know each other", but it was basically to give my gut a chance to tell me whether I would be safe with the person. I was polite, but firm about all of my requests.
Very few of the initial responders followed up with me after this, but the ones who did sounded respectful and sane. The first client I met was a guy from out of town. He sounded very nervous in the emails we exchanged, and I wasn't sure he would actually keep the date we made that evening at a smart bar. The first thing he told me was that he was not going to go through with our date, but he felt bad about standing me up and would buy me a drink and tip for my time.
We had a drink together and I drew him out about what he was looking for. As a dancer, I know lots of ways to set men at their ease and encourage them to open up to me. He told me a familiar story: I've heard many versions of this story, and it always makes me sad.
He told me that I was too young; I was 28 and he was He talked about how much he missed touching and holding and looking at a woman. We kept talking about the human need for intimacy, and I could tell he did want the meeting. We went to his room. It was a very nice room, in a nice hotel. It was much more intimate than dancing in the club, where there are lights and noise and distraction. We had a pleasant, playful time, and ended up spending several hours together. He paid me at the end and counting out the money seemed to kill the mood for both of us a little bit.
I made a mental note that if I did this again I would ask for the money up front. Afterwards, he offered to drive me back to the bar and I felt safe enough with him to accept. The drive was slightly awkward. He seemed to feel odd about dropping me off on the street. I wondered if he was having regrets about the session. He was rather cold when he said goodbye, and I was surprised to notice that I felt a little hurt. This was the only time during the session when I felt "dirty" about what I'd done.
I felt he was judging me. I made a conscious decision not to let this bother me: I probably wouldn't see him again, and it was just a business transaction, so it didn't really matter what he thought about me. I would offer this advice to clients, though: You're not the only one who has feelings about what just happened. In my post-university slump, I felt like my life was in the drain. Now that I was in a new city, the area strip clubs were more plentiful. I went to one "audition".
The girls were snorting coke in the dressing room, and the bouncers seemed more malicious and oversexed than the customers. I did not go back. I remembered a roommate I had in university who signed up as an escort through an online service. I drove two hours to his house, white-knuckled in anticipation of what I was about to do. He was middle aged, pretty average-looking — balding, in OK shape.
I don't want to seem flippant when I talk about the sex. There was nothing special about it except for the fact that it was the first time in my young life that I was literally prostituting myself. In retrospect, my opinion of prostitution is that it is fine if you have straightened it out in your head as to why you are doing it and what you get out of it, but you are risking your safety and your health.
Can you charge a price high enough to compensate for that? And the sex was nothing I remember anything about. He left his television muted on CNN the whole time. My biggest concern was that I had very little experience and that it would show I had only had sex a couple of times in my life. My next worry was that I would not be able to fill a full two hours with sexual entertainment.
It was not that hard. Most people are easy enough to talk to, and once the sex is over it is just pillow talk and back rubs. After two months, I started scheduling dates with men and then not showing up. I was starting to get real about why I was having sex with men for money. I had been feeling rejected by a former lover, and I was angry about being in debt and was discovering that my university degree was essentially worthless.
I felt like being destructive. My last job scared me out of it for good....