It was in Harrogate, North Yorkshire, a public-spirited, snobbish spa town well-served by shiny Victorian lavatories. Truly an impressive, proud piece of polished plumbing. Cottaging, or cruising for sex in public lavatories and parks, was once a mainstay of the gay demi-monde. It's easy to see why.
When any and all sex between men was still illegal, as it was in the UK before the partial decriminalization of , anonymous sex was often the only kind available. It was probably the only sensible kind too, since the more your partner knew about you, the more you left yourself open to blackmail.
Thanks to British municipal pride, toilets were everywhere -- and also nowhere: The glory hole itself is the ultimate symbol of anonymous "no-strings" sex: Even bricks and mortar can't hold it back. As a horny teenager in the early s, when sex with another male was still completely illegal for me -- not being over 21, and not in a position to have sex "in private," two key, killjoy stipulations of the act -- I was very, very interested in what went on in public toilets.
But I never really got the hang of it. The business of standing around for hours like cheese at fourpence pretending to piss was beyond me; I was far too self-conscious already. Plus, sex in cubicles seemed foolish: There's no escape route, either from the rozzers or from the other party. It was only later, after running away to London and joining the out-and-proud gay world of gay bars and clubs and volunteering for London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard , that I discovered my true home: The old-school twilight world of the homosexual is where I really belonged.
I spent many warm summer evenings there enjoying wordless trysts that were often as romantic as they were anonymous. I also spent many long hours wandering around in ever-expanding circles in the freezing fog in February.
Compulsive sex can be pretty compulsive, as that global glory hole called the Internet was to make even clearer. The arrival of online "dating" sites like Gaydar in the late '90s depopulated gay cruising areas like Hampstead Heath, which had already suffered competition from the host of back rooms, sex clubs and gay saunas that opened in London that decade.
But now everyone was at home, logged on with a lob on, looking to "accom. This has created something that looks, through a vandalized toilet cubicle partition, like a paradox. Some people even thought I sold fish! There's a lot of fake shit on the internet! Why should I trust you? WTF, you dare to call me a liar? I've had many relationships, fucked a lot of ugly girls in orgies, and I have lots of experience with many of these free adult dating sites. I have searched and refined my top choices for you in a convenient way so that you can get access to the world's best networking locations and real sex communities on your computer, mobile smartphone or tablet anywhere, anytime.
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